Update

So until such time as I get my hands on a laptop or computer of some sort, I've gotta do this from my phone.

We'll see how that goes.

As far as huge updates go, there aren't many. This last year has bore very little change, if any. My job changed, and I'm not entirely sure it was for the better. I love my coworkers so much. As it's been with every job, school, and neighborhood I've been a part of, I make friends and I make them fast. I don't like letting go of them in any regard, as the thing I fear most is being truly alone. I can't do that.

As time passes, I find it increasingly hard to say I've accomplished anything. I know that I have, but there are always the whispers in the back of my head saying otherwise.

i.e.: my mom moved out before I did.

That kinda stuff.

Or my personal favorite: "You've fumbled all of your meaningful relationships, romantic aspirations or otherwise.."

A lot of what I'm doing now is bettering myself. Trying to stop the negative self talk. Or.. thoughts rather.. Dealing with issues that won't be resolved otherwise..

I'm about a month or two away from declaring romance a joke, and not for lack of effort.

I understand that this area is very limited with its options.

But. There are still options.

Options that, when I convince myself to pursue, suddenly move away. Get a different job. Get rid of their socials. Etc.

I kid you not.

Kinda discouraging.

My job is... a job. The only time that I've felt wanted by my upper management was at the beginning of the hiring process, and though they may say it was me, I can't help but think they tried as hard as they did simply because they needed the manpower.

Depressing shit I know.

ON A HAPPY NOTE THO.

I love the people I supervise. I look forward to working with each of them. They've all got their own unique, distinct personalities that strike me in different ways. Inside jokes with a bunch of them.

I'm such a people person, and as such, this job should fit me.

And yet.

Anyway.

I'm gonna finish the rest of this whiskey ginger and call it a night.

Thanks for listening. For tuning in. For paying attention.

Stay alive.

Stay happy.

Stay you.

-Dominic Romeo

03/24/2023

01:39 AM